about

"I love when people who have been through hell, walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire."  -Stephanie Sparkles

Hey there, Sunshine, glad you’re here.

Truly, and I say that with my whole heart for two reasons. One. I know what it’s like to exist in spaces you don’t feel welcome to … even if that space is where you lay your head at night … and two, if you’re here, it means you’re open to learning from lived experience, eager to build resilience or curious how to cultivate a healthy relationship with your kids, teens, and/or young adult children who may or may not be adoptees. Either way, grab a chair, there’s room at the table.

A good majority of the lived experience I write, speak, and create from centers around the chaos I was born into, my entrance and exit from kinship care, my journey as a birthmom and my role as a kinship caregiver turned kinship adoptive mom. It’s a lot, I know … but about a decade ago I discovered these hardships didn’t define me, they better equipped me to show up as the kind of person younger me needed and in turn has enabled me to help you do the same … for both yourself and your kids.

While so much of what I do is intertwined with who I am, I wanted to take the time to introduce myself as if you don’t already know me or have access to half of my life story!

I’m married to the man I met on the drive-thru line at TacoBell the summer I ran away and emancipated myself. He swears he asked me out the summer before and I turned him down but that’s neither here nor there. A year later he proposed on a pirate ship and the rest is a story for another day.

I’m a mama to three incredible young ladies in three different ways. While I placed my firstborn for adoption, I’ve had the privilege of building a great relationship with her. We talk regularly and even though I didn’t get to parent her, I get to be a trusted adult she’s been able to turn to for several years now. Of the two girls I parent, one is mine and my husband's biological daughter, while our youngest is my biological half sister. If you need a mom friend to confide in, I can be her but I’m also going to convince you that toddlers and teens are misunderstood and our kids are pretty cool humans learning to live life for the first time and that’s hard … perspective matters.

I collect so many hobbies it makes the ADHD allegations hard to ignore. Pair that with the entrepreneurial influence and old school work ethic my pa imparted and it makes sense that rest feels like a foreign concept. On the bright side, I have plenty of creative outlets to keep me occupied … I just need to be better about giving myself permission to indulge in them.

Occasionally I feel incredibly under-qualified and sometimes during those seasons of doubt I find clarity through journaling. During my most recent bout with imposter syndrome I scribbled these words, “Is it possible that I was created to create? Create community? Create belonging? Create art? Create inspiration? Create ideas? Create peace? Create safety? Create change?” 

I create safe spaces around vulnerability and authenticity because I believe it’s fundamental to our humanity and healing … it’s why I launched The Resilient Retreat that was later absorbed by The Ampersand Initiative, a nonprofit I co-founded to pour into the most underserved population directly impacted by adoption: birthmoms. It’s why I write, speak, and continue to show up when there are days I’d rather disappear to live a quiet life. 

If you had told me that one day my life experiences would become the foundation of my work I would have laughed ... and yet, here we are because ... "I love when people who have been through hell, walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire."  -Stephanie Sparkles